Porn Stars & Play Parties: Sexual Health Geniuses


 

 

At Biem, we’ve talked with hundreds of people about their sexual health, and the question we hear most often is:

“How and when do I ask my partner(s) about their STD test status?”

 

This question is scary because we worry about how our partner(s) will react. What if they’re offended? What if they don’t want to have sex anymore?! More often than not, we avoid this risk by avoiding the conversation altogether, which leads to all kinds of unhealthy anxiety.

To figure out how to do sexual health better, we asked some of the most tested people on earth from the adult entertainment industry and play party communities how they handle their sexual health situations. In summary…they’re geniuses.


Porn Stars

According to industry expert and journalist Lynsey G. (TW: @misslagsalot), the adult industry has an STD test standard that each porn star must meet. At a minimum, everyone needs to be tested within two weeks of a shoot, and before performing, they must show verified results. For some top porn stars, two weeks isn’t enough, and they demand their co-stars be tested within the last few days. That’s some serious empowerment.

Play Party Communities

Lila D. (IG: @horizontalwithlila) runs events and PR at one of the most well-known play party venues in New York. Play parties are sensual events where guests are welcome to learn, watch, or even participate. (more details available on Lila’s podcast). First time play party participants must attend an orientation, and sexual health is a huge part of that discussion. Condoms are provided throughout the play party venue, and mouth wash instead of brushing teeth is encouraged (brushing can cause gums to bleed). There is also a very strict consent policy, and can be summarized with the saying “If it’s not a F*#K yes, then it’s a F*#K NO.”. That makes it pretty clear.


While there are clearly some differences between our own intimate one-on-one situations in real life and how porn stars and play parties handle sexual health, there are some concepts we can use to make more confident sexual health decisions.

Protocol

Whether its porn stars or play party participants, they all follow a protocol. Porn stars get tested every three weeks and are expected to share their results. Sex party goers, go through sexual health orientation, and learn how to give and receive rejection gracefully.

What if we had a protocol? Maybe instead of asking partners if they’ve been tested, we simply show them our results! What if we planned ahead of time to get tested every six months instead of getting tested “when we need it”?

 

Cultural Expectations

Porn stars are expected to get tested and show results. At play parties, consent is very clear. What if we lived with those same rules? What if as a matter of personal policy, we tell our partners that our sexual health is important to us, and show them our results?

 

Ownership

Most of our fears around rejection are based on how someone else MIGHT react. We sometimes make bad sexual health decisions not because we don’t care about ourselves, but we’re concerned about how someone else might perceive us. How about we have a “me-first” attitude, own our sexual health, and expect the same from our partners?

 

A big thanks to the adult entertainment industry and our play party communities for leading the way on how to do sexual health better.

 

Biem was recently nominated as a finalist for the XBIZ “Sexual Health Brand of The Year” award. We’re proud to have been nominated in an industry that prioritizes sexual health, and look forward to how we can collectively change sexual health expectations together. Let’s learn from each other, and live healthier, happier, sexier lives.

One thought on “Porn Stars & Play Parties: Sexual Health Geniuses

  1. A lot of people make poor choicesbin the play parties as well as oitside or they get into a relationship with someone who did and they pay the price due to liars or lack of communication…

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